Certainly the parallels between Butler and Hillier are remarkable.
Their parallels in commemoration are richly deserved.
But the many who are glad to see the last of General Hillier, and gloat that "once the most powerful man in Canada, now he doesn't have a pot to piss in" would be wrong of course.
Still Canadians are glad to be rid of the general who was the architect of the race war against the Afghans.
Their next task is to get rid of "Hillier's War" and bring home the girls and boys - whom he had sent into harm's way with such gusto
Oh, and Lest We Forget? To end the death and destruction our Forces and their cronies are promoting daily, among Afghan women, children, and men.
Don't they have a right too, to live out their lives instead of perishing from the warring activities of avenging white Christian Crusaders from half way around the world...?
"We are the Canadian Forces, and our job is
Julie Couillard who, as a poor "working girl," and as a "real estate agent" - she says; her boss said no - had her hands full, having to bone up on two men at once, as part of her job. Above she arrives at the cabinet appointment meeting with subsequently disgraced and dismissed Canadian Minister of Defence, Max - for Maximum Cad - Bernier, where her attire caused such a national ruckus. In her tell-all book she complained bitterly that Maximum screwed her - repeatedly if you can believe - even though he never loved her...
No wonder Prime Minister Harper fired him for bad judgment. But in Max's constituency, in Quebec, they reelected him, showing that it is considered acceptable form in La Belle Province for top political leaders to screw anybody.
Julie had the misfortune in her choice of surname as well. Couillard comes from the old French "couille" which refers to male genitalia, which Max apparently had in ample supply...
One week the Prime Minister had to fire two Ministers of Defence and the next week his top general... It shows how the Canadian defence establishment had totally degenerated, in the 21st century, as everyone is out to grope, either for bad girls or sacks of cash, happily dispensed by war lobbyists who know Canada's top political leaders and civil servants are ready, at anytime to drop their principles or their trousers for the right price.
Both civil servants - though it is not clear what uniform they were wearing at the time - admitted to discussing the tender with her, no doubt breathlessly, in between whatever.
What a professional!!! Now that's value for money... Her boss should be proud, though he's trying his best to distance himself from his hard working employee who had more than her hands full on his behalf.
Compare that to the two civil servants who no doubt billed the festivity extras to the tax payers of Canada, getting a free ride also from Joe Public.
Said the clearly patriotic and professional service provider, "It was a contract," referring to her relationship with the Industry, later Defence Minister, "He never loved me."
What a cad, not observing even the most basic formalities of courtship, and breathing the requisite three little words every woman - even a service provider - has a right to expect from a man in heat.
Needless to say, while the defence minister was off chasing hookers, the Department of National Defence went AWOL. Defence contractors ran amok while the boss's attention was elsewhere, double and triple billing contracts over and above the original estimates for military equipment service contracts, etc.
With no one minding the store, the Auditor-General says the Canadian taxpayer was ripped off for hundreds of millions in unwarranted billings.
And greedy defence consultants - by far the wealthiest lobbyists working Parliament Hill - raked in hundreds of millions in extra payola on top of, under, and behind the table.
Mistresses in Paris and New York, and table top dancers in Hull, all, reportedly remarked on the sudden flush of dollars flowing from their high flying clients from Sodom on the Rideau.
Which explains why these mostly female service providers are among the most patriotic boosters of the war in Afghanistan. In fact private investigators report that there seems to be a sudden boom in Canadian flags being tattooed on bare behinds in Hull.
(In what may be a related medical story, there appears to be an inexplicable abnormally high spike in Viagra sales in the Ottawa area.)
With the disgraced Defence Minister now gone - we hope with all his clothes, if not all his secret federal government documents - the department wants to turn a new page.
Said an enthusiastic spokesman for the Department of National Defence, on a brand new initiative sure to make everyone in uniform swell their chests with patriotism, "Canadians can take pride in that we will soon have POOP all over Afghanistan."
The Operation POOP initiative also fits in extremely well with the Manley Plan which suggested Canada embark only on projects which can be clearly and publicly branded as Canadian initiatives.
Being enamel, POOP is lightweight and highly portable, and in large families can easily and quickly be handed back and forth, for one usage or another, which could be popping or pooping, though not necessarily in that order.
The general admits there is no water for cleaning in most of the houses where the multi-purpose pisspot would be used so it might prove somewhat inconvenient in the short run. But he is working on the water thing next...
It may very well be that the Threefer Patriotic Pisspot might prove to be the general's most enduring achievement in Afghanistan.
A grateful nation should, at a minimum, give him the Order of Canada - at least Officer grade...
It Rains; It Pours - the MUFF
(Canadian Gov. Military Classification - MUFF - Military Urinal For Females)
"Can I send you a picture of my muff?" The woman's email was pleading; we eagerly answered "Yes!"
At first, finding it impossible to find memorabilia to commemorate the achievements of the late commander of the Canadian Forces, we had groused that no one seemed to want a reminder of the man behind Canada's hapless Afghan military adventure.
Now a female member of the Canadian Forces, who took strong exception to our suggestion - impertinent she called it - that the general was all but forgotten, already, by the members of the Forces, proudly sent us a picture of her muff.
And a fine one it proved to be too... One of the finest we've ever had the privilege to see.
No wonder she was so clearly pleased to be able to show us her MUFF, or Military Urinal For Females below saying, somewhat crossly, that, as usual, being male, we were off the mark, while females were much more likely to be on target.
The sisterhood in the Forces, she insisted, have not forgotten their general; quite the contrary, female members are pleased to think of him, she assured us, whenever they get the urge.
So, though he may be gone from the Afghan file, he remains a watchful presence on the female urinal, keeping a sharp lookout, as it were, for anyone approaching who plans an unauthorized usage.
We've been authoritatively assured he's as effective there as he was in putting the Taliban on the ropes in Kandahar province.
(Though we're not sure how reliable this source is as we can't seem to recall the Taliban there ever crying "uncle." Far from it, for if the vaunted "victory surge" in Iraq, has a counterpart in Afghanistan, it is the spectacular growth of Taliban power in the Canadian sector in Kandahar province, where even President Karzai moans he controls less of the area than he did before the Canadians arrived to help secure the area. And we do recall numerous press reports that say that most Canadians mostly hide behind the "wire," while Canadian political and military leaders, for years, have been loudly screaming for help and reinforcements from clearly reticent NATO partners who aren't dumb enough to respond. Clearly "military intelligence" is not an oxymoron in Europe. Which has Canadians screaming louder... )
The MUFF is, apparently, available only in enamel to withstand the rough handling it is expected to get inside a careening tank or bouncing LAV.
Like Canada's other famous invention, the Tilley hat, the Hillier MUFF comes with a 10 page official instruction manual on how to use it properly - with due decorum - in a tent, on a date, in a fast moving vehicle over bouncy terrain, or while being shot at in combat.
Fortuitous notes are also included on how to avoid damaging the decal of the general during use, it having the same heritage designation as the Canadian flag.
Just like with the Canadian flag, it is an offence - under the act, whichever - to continue using the urinal if the decal becomes defaced for any reason. It must then be privately destroyed in a seemly manner in a way not to cause an indignity to the General and all he stands for.
It is apparently prohibited to continue using an old MUFF as an idle play thing, as a receptacle for flowers, or to grow herbal plants in.
Though, in deference to the general's well-known penchant for quaffing back more than a few, whenever the occasion permits, it may be used as a beer tankard on festive - make that any regimental drinking - occasion.
Though, as a cautionary, we would suggest you not let a MUFF out of your control for any period of time during these raucous festivities, as an overly tipsy member of the rank and vile, who is not aware that it has been officially retired from its former use, may just forget and use it like the common threefer patriotic Pisspot Or Other Purpose above.
This, besides being an illegal use, and clearly contrary to regulations, might also just forever swear off the owner - if he took an inadvertent swig - from drinking beer from a tankard ever again...
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