Boer War Page 12g

Anglo-Boer War Fakes - ebay Follies

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As a public service, to prevent eager collectors from being duped by unscrupulous antique dealers, we offer our Fake Pages courtesy of our friends on ebay.
Another genuine antique item brought to you by your friends on ebay. Click below to see for yourself..
YOU ARE LOOKING AT A REMRKABLE TAPESTRY DONE BY PEREZ DEPICTING A SOUTHERN MANTION AND THE GENTLEMEN WITH WEAPONS IN HAND SAYING GOOGBYYES TO GO FIGHT. AS THE PICTURES SHOWW THE COLORS HAVE FADED SOME AND THERE ARE A FEW FUZZY SPOTS, NOT HOLES OR DIFIGUEMENT, JUST WHERE THE THREAD HAS UNRAVELED A BIT. THE FRAME MEASURES 19 ½" WIDE BY 14 ½" TALL AND IS ORIGINAL BUT THE PLASTER HAS TINY CRACKS ALL AROUND THE EDGES. AS YOU CAN SEE IT IS ALL INTACT BUT IT WOULD NOT TAKE MUCH TO BREAK THE PLASTER THEY USED FOR DECORATING THE EDGES. GIVEN THE SUBJECT MATTER (CIVIL WAR), THE TAPESTRY IS SIGNED BY THE ARTIST AND FROM THE CIVIL WAR PERIOD THIS IS A VALUABLE PIECE.
A Last Pathetic Farewell. OK, I'll buy that. A Civil War tapestry, valuable and signed by the artist no less! Always was a sucker for those "Good-bye, I'm Off to the Wars Pictures," where a man bids a fond farewell, a final kiss for Tess, and a last affectionate squeeze to old dog Tray, and then away, to return another day. It's almost poetic. And to find such an emotional scene from a real southern "mantion" is a special treet - sorry - treat. And the "gentlemen with weapons in hand saying googbyyes to go fight," well who can resist the pathos.

You say there are "not holes or difiguement." I'm pleased to hear that. Oh but could you send us a little brighter jpegs? The ones you provided are so dark they almost lend themselves to just about any interpretation. I'd really like to see the tapestry a bit clearer. Oh! That's the best your camera can do! Ok, I guess we'll try and enhance the image ourselves and see if we can make it brighter.

An Antique Dealer Clarifies Things:

"That's funny. A southern "mantion" you say. I could have sworn it looks more like a painted backdrop on a stage. Looks a bit flat like a studio setup. No?"

"No, no, no, sir. Please! Look at those columns. Just like on Scarlett's mantion Tara."

"Are you sure? It's been awhile since I've seen the movie. They seem to look more Tuscan, or like something you'd find in Italy, or in Moorish Spain?"

"No sir, you are quite mistaken. Civil War for certain! Look at the weapons they're carrying."

"Ok. The weapons."

"Yes, sir, the weapons they're holding. Can't you see? They're Civil War. They're going off to war, sir. They need weapons. The tapestry is a bit faded yes, but they're weapons, clearly Civil War weapons... This has very good providence too. Look it's even signed by that famous Civil War artist - I think he was a New Englander - his name's right here, Vargo Perez..... From New Hampshire, I think! You've heard of him of course, sir?"

"Vargo Perez! A New Englander? Ahh.... mmmm, not really. Aaah ....am I missing something here? That table .... Isn't that a pool table? .... OK, billiards then?"

"Forget the table sir. Focus on the human story. Focus on the farewell couple, how sad, how pathetic, how rare a scene! Are you not capable of being moved by that sir? He is going to war sir. He may not return!"

"Yes, but wait .... that tabel - sorry table - if that's a billiard table, then aren't those weapons they have, really more likely to be pool cues? Isn't this just a scene of people shooting pool - sorry I mean billiards - somewhere in Itally? Now you've got me going - I mean Italy?"

"Pffft. You sir have no imagination. If you cannot see the differnence between Civil War weapons and pool cues, you are obviously incapbale of being moved by the emotion as Don Diego - I mean Captain Shanks - is saying a final sad farewell to his senorita - ahh, I mean to Scarlett."

"But the man on the right..... that doesn't look like Civil War clothes. His pants! I mean they look like silk tights and it looks like he's wearing a wig too!"

"Sir! Are you insinnooating that gay men and transvestites did not fight in the Civil War?

Sir I am offended by your infernnences. If that is how you feel, kindly do not bid on this item. I'm sure that a gay Civil War buff will appreciate this item, even if you don't, and see it's valueble contribution to Civil War history. Here in Erie, Pennsylvania we have quite a few, and they know the differnenence, thirr - I mean sir."


c Goldi Productions Ltd. 1996 & 2000